Happy Birthday Dad

Saturday was my Dad's 63rd birthday. 63...wow. That is huge considering all he's been through. With each birthday he continues to defy the odds and I am so grateful that he has.

I love you Daddy!

14 years

Kassidy turns 14 tomorrow…and I can’t believe the time has gone so fast. I met Kassidy a few days after her 3^rd birthday and I can still picture her sitting in her car seat singing Shania Twain’s “I feel like a Woman” as loud as her voice would go. I had only visited with her 3 times for about 5 total days before I moved to Connecticut and yet she welcomed me into her life with open arms and a wide open heart! When I think about it now, I am amazed that she eased right through this huge transition but am not surprised. I wish I could say I handled this time with as much grace as she did, she is and always has been very good at change and I am not.

I can’t remember the exact date, but shortly after we moved into our Chambers apartment and started our life as a family Kassidy asked me if she could call me Mommy. I stuttered something about her asking her Dad if it was ok, but at that exact moment she let me in and a Mommy was born. I truly feel like a Mom to her and she doesn’t treat me like a step parent.

Kassidy was a precocious toddler and little girl with a very strong sense of who she was. Her confidence often surprised us, she sang the National Anthem at a minor league baseball game in front of about 5,000 people at 5. I have never seen her back away from a challenge out of fear; she will always confront it head on and plow right through it. She was certainly sassy then too but knew the line never to cross.

As she becomes a young lady she has started to show some insecurity but overall she is still true to who she is. We tease her a lot about how much harder she is on us now than she ever was when she was little, but the truth is she isn’t that hard. She is a typical teenager finding her way in the world and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

While last year was probably Kassidy’s hardest year personally, as always I was inspired by her. She found her voice and decided to give living with us full time a shot. I know it was the hardest thing she has done so far, but she hasn’t looked back and is doing great. I love having her part of our everyday and watching each new thing she does.

I am certain great things are in store for Kassidy! She starts high school in three short weeks and the possibilities are endless. I love my Shoosh and will forever be grateful to her for loving me as only she can do.

Three

Elle is three! As I think about the last three years I am amazed by how fast time is going. It feels like I was just asking Ted if there were two lines or one line on the pregnancy test and now I am getting her ready for preschool. I miss the baby that she was, but each new day with her is better than the one before. 

 

Elle is getting cuter the bigger she gets and her personality is awesome! I love her sense of humor and she keeps us all laughing at the things she says and does. She is a typical three year old and her stubbornness and willfulness are giving us a run for our money, but I even love this about her. 

 

She can’t play “dress-up” enough and her imagination is unbelievable. She assigns each of us a character and an entire storyline evolves. She loves to sing and Annie songs are her favorite songs to belt out, and she isn’t shy about where she’ll perform.

 

I am still in awe of her and can’t wait to see what she’ll do next (hopefully it will be using the potty)!

A decade

One decade, 10 years, 120 months, 520 weeks, 3,650 days. Hard to believe that I made it five minutes let alone 10 years in Connecticut. This anniversary makes me happy but it also reminds of how hard it has been to be away from my home.  

Aside from my children, surviving this distance may be my biggest accomplishment. I have made it on my own for an entire decade. 

While I know I haven’t been truly alone, thankfully Ted and Kassidy are with me every step of the way, I have been without my Bastian’s. Not a single day has passed since I’ve been on this wrong coast that I haven’t missed them. And though I’ve missed so many holidays and birthdays and just the everydayness of being near them, I will never regret making the decision to move here.  

Ted and Kassidy (and now Elle) are my world and make my life crazy, hectic, fun and full, just like my Bastian’s do. 

I sincerely believe that everyone should try to live away from their home at least once in their life and see how much than can grow. I know I’m better for having done it. 

New Boudoir

 When Kassidy decided to move in with us full time in the fall we decided to update her room to her "grownup" room. 

So for Christmas we gave her all the decor, her Grandma made her curtains and her Nammy made her a blanket and they created the lamp together and Ted did all the work. 

The chalkboard is my favorite part. I think it is perfect for her and she absolutely loves it. 

Improvising

Since Ted destroyed our camera (which was finally replaced by Jane on Sunday as an early birthday gift... thank you so so much), I had to improvise and use my cell phone camera to document our trip to the pool this weekend.

The girls had a great time with each other....

& with their Dad...

& I couldn't resist this shot...check out that diaper. 

We ran out of swim diapers & it was hilarious.

Grateful

We are slow, scary slow, at work ... so I spent my day reading this  feeling such profound sadness, hope and love for these strangers that I am emotionally exhausted. I couldn't stop thinking of them and though they were never out of my mind tonight, I was delighted when I came home and found these waiting for me in my mailbox!

    It is magazine day and all my favorites were waiting for me when I arrived home!  So I've been lost in useless reading as Ellie and Kassidy run around me singing and dancing and playing dress up and I can not help but being so grateful for the gifts in my life.

High School already?

Today is a big day in our family… Kassidy is registering for high school. It is hard for me to see her as this young lady when it feels like only yesterday that she was Elle’s size asking me if she could call me “mommy”. But here we are mapping out her future.

The registration process is complex and confusing and with each class selection we are looking at 4 years down the road and not just at the mere six months it will be before she begins her freshman year. We have to make sure that each class is fulfilling graduation requirements as well as meeting the admission requirements for colleges. I find myself feeling scared, sad and excited all at once and can only imagine how she is feeling.

She is taking it all in stride which is true to form for her. She tends to be outwardly confident (cocky even) when she is really insecure and this is no exception. I find it both endearing and irritating, but comforting in knowing that she always ends up just fine.

So much for her has changed these last few months that I hope that the planning and prospects of this new chapter in her life give her the hope and affirmation I know she needs.

Quite the week

I have been having one of those weeks... I've been sick, Elle's been sick, Ted "dropped" the camera in the fire and Kassidy has been a true to form teenager. I'm in a rut and hopefully next week will be better. 

I got this email today and it pretty much summed up my life and while I am mostly grateful sometimes I could use some more appreciation for all I do. 

BEING A MOM

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired,

and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s

lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the

freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal

box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on

the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next

morning.

She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of

clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose

button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor,

picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the

telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the

plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She

yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She

stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted

out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from

hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend,

addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note

for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then

creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her

teeth and trimmed her nails.

Hubby called, “I thought you were going to bed.” “I’m on my

way,” she said. She put some water into the dog’s dish and put

the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She

looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp,

hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had

a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In

her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next

day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to

her list of things to do for tomorrow. About that time, the

hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular

“I’m going to bed,” and he did.

My day off

Each night as I put Elle to bed we always talk about what is in store for the next day. This way she wakes up knowing where she will be that day... be it with us, Grandma or at daycare.  

She wakes up happy most days and announces her plans for the day usually based on what we talk about at bedtime the night 

before. Wednesdays are our day together so I try to do something fun. 

This week I cancelled our playdate because I was fighting a cold (that has won and I am praying no one else gets it). & Elle wasn't about to let me off the hook with what we decided to do at bedtime Tuesday. 

So, we baked cookies. I let her do it all from start to finish, including clean up and she had Kassidy help her decorate. It was fun and took my mind off being sick for awhile. 

Hope

"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord." - President Barack Obama 

As this historical day comes to an end I can not help but hope and for the first time in my life I feel inspired by a politician. I believe in this amazing country and am filled with pride at what I witnessed today. 

The Holidays...finally

It is hard to believe that it is already January 16, 2009. The time really flew over the holidays and I am profoundly sad that it did. Christmas was a blast this year and watching Elle discover the spirit of the season was truly a sight to see. She even said good bye to her friends at daycare today with a hearty “Merry Christmas" and I am certain she will continue with this for quite some time. Here is a recap of our holidays, hope you enjoy. 

We kept with our tradition this year and spent Christmas Eve creating our gingerbread houses in fierce competition. This year the teams consisted of Jane, Megan and me vs. Brian, Ted and Kassidy. My team was victorious, but if you'd like to cast your votes just let me know. 

We sent Elle off to sleep with my annual reading of The Polar Express and she actually made it through the entire story this year. 

As expected (unlike last year's pleasant surprise), Nammy and Poppy arrived into Newark, NJ on Santa's sleigh at about 1:30 Christmas morning. Though the flight was delayed, they were worth wait and were home with us for Christmas morning. 

Elle loved her gifts from Santa, but especially her dress up stuff. 

Miss Kassidy had a blast too, but mostly was stoked on her new room (more about that in another post)!

 Christmas dinner at Jane's was yummy and fun!

The rest of the week with my parents was supposed to be low key, but because Elle's potty training was a disaster...

...I tried to keep my folks entertained on their visit, so we hit up the Irish Famine Memorial in NYC (which is really cool and I highly recommend it)...

& Little Italy New York where we saw two of my sorority sisters, Laurel & Allison, 

 & Elle abruptly ended the evening by getting her first case of the stomach bug and began vomiting in front of a restaurant full of diners, a wild ride over the Brooklyn Bridge through Williamsburg, Brooklyn that I am certain was the high light of our visit together if not our lives (you had to be there) and a quick trip to the submarine base in Groton, CT...

... while Kassidy had her first skiing adventure with her Uncle Brian and Aunt Megan and by all indications is a "natural" and we can't wait to see it for ourselves and capture a photo for posterity. 

I am missing my folks as always and am so grateful that they spent another Christmas with little us in Connecticut. They spoiled us so while they were here and our house seems so quiet with out them. We are back to our busy schedules and I can not wait until we all can be together again

...and will be counting down the days until they can smother us all with kiss sandwiches!