14 years

Kassidy turns 14 tomorrow…and I can’t believe the time has gone so fast. I met Kassidy a few days after her 3^rd birthday and I can still picture her sitting in her car seat singing Shania Twain’s “I feel like a Woman” as loud as her voice would go. I had only visited with her 3 times for about 5 total days before I moved to Connecticut and yet she welcomed me into her life with open arms and a wide open heart! When I think about it now, I am amazed that she eased right through this huge transition but am not surprised. I wish I could say I handled this time with as much grace as she did, she is and always has been very good at change and I am not.

I can’t remember the exact date, but shortly after we moved into our Chambers apartment and started our life as a family Kassidy asked me if she could call me Mommy. I stuttered something about her asking her Dad if it was ok, but at that exact moment she let me in and a Mommy was born. I truly feel like a Mom to her and she doesn’t treat me like a step parent.

Kassidy was a precocious toddler and little girl with a very strong sense of who she was. Her confidence often surprised us, she sang the National Anthem at a minor league baseball game in front of about 5,000 people at 5. I have never seen her back away from a challenge out of fear; she will always confront it head on and plow right through it. She was certainly sassy then too but knew the line never to cross.

As she becomes a young lady she has started to show some insecurity but overall she is still true to who she is. We tease her a lot about how much harder she is on us now than she ever was when she was little, but the truth is she isn’t that hard. She is a typical teenager finding her way in the world and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

While last year was probably Kassidy’s hardest year personally, as always I was inspired by her. She found her voice and decided to give living with us full time a shot. I know it was the hardest thing she has done so far, but she hasn’t looked back and is doing great. I love having her part of our everyday and watching each new thing she does.

I am certain great things are in store for Kassidy! She starts high school in three short weeks and the possibilities are endless. I love my Shoosh and will forever be grateful to her for loving me as only she can do.

Three

Elle is three! As I think about the last three years I am amazed by how fast time is going. It feels like I was just asking Ted if there were two lines or one line on the pregnancy test and now I am getting her ready for preschool. I miss the baby that she was, but each new day with her is better than the one before. 

 

Elle is getting cuter the bigger she gets and her personality is awesome! I love her sense of humor and she keeps us all laughing at the things she says and does. She is a typical three year old and her stubbornness and willfulness are giving us a run for our money, but I even love this about her. 

 

She can’t play “dress-up” enough and her imagination is unbelievable. She assigns each of us a character and an entire storyline evolves. She loves to sing and Annie songs are her favorite songs to belt out, and she isn’t shy about where she’ll perform.

 

I am still in awe of her and can’t wait to see what she’ll do next (hopefully it will be using the potty)!

A decade

One decade, 10 years, 120 months, 520 weeks, 3,650 days. Hard to believe that I made it five minutes let alone 10 years in Connecticut. This anniversary makes me happy but it also reminds of how hard it has been to be away from my home.  

Aside from my children, surviving this distance may be my biggest accomplishment. I have made it on my own for an entire decade. 

While I know I haven’t been truly alone, thankfully Ted and Kassidy are with me every step of the way, I have been without my Bastian’s. Not a single day has passed since I’ve been on this wrong coast that I haven’t missed them. And though I’ve missed so many holidays and birthdays and just the everydayness of being near them, I will never regret making the decision to move here.  

Ted and Kassidy (and now Elle) are my world and make my life crazy, hectic, fun and full, just like my Bastian’s do. 

I sincerely believe that everyone should try to live away from their home at least once in their life and see how much than can grow. I know I’m better for having done it. 

New Boudoir

 When Kassidy decided to move in with us full time in the fall we decided to update her room to her "grownup" room. 

So for Christmas we gave her all the decor, her Grandma made her curtains and her Nammy made her a blanket and they created the lamp together and Ted did all the work. 

The chalkboard is my favorite part. I think it is perfect for her and she absolutely loves it. 

Improvising

Since Ted destroyed our camera (which was finally replaced by Jane on Sunday as an early birthday gift... thank you so so much), I had to improvise and use my cell phone camera to document our trip to the pool this weekend.

The girls had a great time with each other....

& with their Dad...

& I couldn't resist this shot...check out that diaper. 

We ran out of swim diapers & it was hilarious.

Grateful

We are slow, scary slow, at work ... so I spent my day reading this  feeling such profound sadness, hope and love for these strangers that I am emotionally exhausted. I couldn't stop thinking of them and though they were never out of my mind tonight, I was delighted when I came home and found these waiting for me in my mailbox!

    It is magazine day and all my favorites were waiting for me when I arrived home!  So I've been lost in useless reading as Ellie and Kassidy run around me singing and dancing and playing dress up and I can not help but being so grateful for the gifts in my life.

High School already?

Today is a big day in our family… Kassidy is registering for high school. It is hard for me to see her as this young lady when it feels like only yesterday that she was Elle’s size asking me if she could call me “mommy”. But here we are mapping out her future.

The registration process is complex and confusing and with each class selection we are looking at 4 years down the road and not just at the mere six months it will be before she begins her freshman year. We have to make sure that each class is fulfilling graduation requirements as well as meeting the admission requirements for colleges. I find myself feeling scared, sad and excited all at once and can only imagine how she is feeling.

She is taking it all in stride which is true to form for her. She tends to be outwardly confident (cocky even) when she is really insecure and this is no exception. I find it both endearing and irritating, but comforting in knowing that she always ends up just fine.

So much for her has changed these last few months that I hope that the planning and prospects of this new chapter in her life give her the hope and affirmation I know she needs.